I'm fucking hilarious

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i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

(via jwalker128)

seedy:

awkward eye contact with people in the car next to yours at a red light 

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(via officialwhitegirls)

ruinedchildhood:

"We have some extra food do you want some?"

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"I can’t finish this you want the rest of my food?"

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"You wanna go out to eat, i’ll pay"

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(via officialwhitegirls)

littlebluecaboose:

why is there not a link this whole video is gold

(Source: cr1tikal, via onlylolgifs)

slotato:

boomitsnialler:

if it makes you feel any better this picture of me is in my high school yearbook and half my teachers came up to me and congratulated me on having the most embarrassing one and said they all laughed about it at a faculty meeting 

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are you raven symone

(Source: okaywork, via voldesnorts)